He's Alive Buns

It's Easter time already.  Everyone is thinking about dresses with ruffles (well, except for in our house), Easter baskets, jelly beans, peeps, egg coloring, and Easter Egg hunts.  Easter doesn't seem to be quite as busy as Christmas time, but it's still so easy to become so distracted by all the "Eastery" things that we forget to take the time to remind our ourselves and our children why we celebrate Easter in the first place.  Our family is no different.

Last year I ran across a repipe for "He's Alive Bun's"  I've heard others call them Resurrection Rolls.  Ben and I made them together last year, but this year all three boys are going to help.  I am excited to be able to share the story of Jesus' resurrection with them in a way that they can see and feel...in a way that they will find interesting...in a way that will keep their attention.

I will post the recipe below.  It's really simple.  For those of you that have never made or heard of them they are simply marshmallows wrapped in a biscuit.  The really neat thing is that when you bake them, the marshmallow melts....leaving the inside of the biscuit empty!

I plan to make the buns with the boys and then while we are eating them we'll read this:

"On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they

had prepared and went to the tomb. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb,

but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were wondering

about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. 

In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground,

but the men said to them, "Why do you look for the living among the dead?

He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee:

'The Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men,

be crucified and on the third day be raised again.'"

Luke 24:1-8



Here's Ben with a "He's Alive Bun" last year.



We also plan to make enough for the boys to take to their Sunday School Classes on Easter.  We'll attach the scripture to the plate of buns so that the teacher have a little something extra to share with the students.

So what are your Easter traditions?  Do you have a neat or interesting way of sharing the gospel with your kids?

He's Alive Buns

1 roll- Refrigerator Biscuits (Pillsbury or similar)

Large Marshmallows - 1 per biscuit
Melted Butter
Sugar and Cinnamon mixture- Just enough to cover the buns.

Directions:

Wrap one biscuit around 1 large marshmallow. Brush on melted butter and roll in cinnamon/sugar. Bake as directed on biscuit pkg. The marshmallow will melt and the bun will be hollow inside.

Note: Make sure to pinch the dough together as much as you can. Some will still pull apart and marshmallow will spill out. Also, your pan will be a sticky mess, but it washes with a little scrubbing.

A Favorite Memory - Caleb

Yesterday I posted a favorite memory of Ben here, so today I thought I would share one about Caleb.  Oddly enough, one of my favorite memories of Caleb also has to do with an elevator, but there are no alligators or crocodiles involved.  ha!

Once when Caleb was around age three I took him to the eye doctor by myself.  (It didn't turn out well...he refused to let the doctor look at him without Denver there to hold him.) 

Anyway, the eye doctor that Caleb goes to has an office inside the hospital in South Bend.  That day Caleb and I found a place to park in the parking garage and then made our way to the nearest elevator.  When we got there we pushed the button and then waited. 

As soon as we pushed the button, a lady walked out of the parking garage and stood behind us to wait for the elevator.  I didn't think much of it or pay much attention to her because Caleb was talking a mile a minute.  Several seconds later the elevator dings and the door opens.  I stepped forward toward the elevator and said to Caleb, "Let's go, Joe".  Caleb stepped into the elevator and without missing a beat turned to the lady, waved his arm for her to come inside and said, "Come on, Joe."  The lady and I busted out laughing.  It took a minute to explain to Caleb that I was talking to him and not to the lady who he thought was "Joe".

Caleb will be 5 this summer and now says these rhyming things with me...when it's time for bed he often says, "Go to bed, Fred" or when we are in a hurry he'll say "Hurry up, Chump"....but I'll always get a chuckle out of the lady named Joe.

A Favorite Memory - Ben

Today, for some reason, I thought of one of my favorite memories of Ben and wanted to share.  Over the next several days I will post a favorite memory of each of the other boys.

I think Ben was about 3 at the time.  It was Christmas and a group from the church was at a local nursing home to sing Christmas carols, to visit with the residents, and to hand out lap quilts.  We had a pretty large crowd and a good mix of people from small children to grandparents.  Everyone was having a very festive and fun time together.

When we finished the first floor and were on our way to the elevator, I told Ben that we were going to ride on the elevator and let it take us up to visit other people.  A few seconds later we stepped on to the elevator and pressed button number two.  After a second Ben said, "This is an alligator?"  Everyone chuckled and I answered that no, it wasn't alligator.   Before I could again tell him it was an elevator, he responded...  "Oh, I know.  It's a crocodile."  That was it.  Everyone in the elevator busted out into full belly laughs!

To this day, whenever I get into an elevator with Ben, I think about alligators and crocodiles.  :o)

Introducing Piper!

Here she is...Piper, our new puppy!

Last summer we got a rescue dog, but had trouble with him around Eli.  Denver and I decided that if we were going to get the boys a dog again that we wanted to get a puppy so that we could raise it and train it around our children.  We wanted a medium size dog.  One that appeared friendly since we tend to have a lot of visitors and small children over....especially on Small Group Nights, but we didn't want a little yapper dog.

Piper is kind of a dying breed.  Less that 300 of them are registered every year.  She probably weighs 12 to 15 lbs now and should get up to 20ish and be at or below knee high.  She was born on New Years Day, so she's not quite 4 months old.

She loves to cuddle, could couldn't care less if people knock or come right in, isn't hyper, loves to jump on and lay down on the couch and refuses to climb or go down the stairs.

When she is outside her favorite thing to do is to chase the boys around the yard. 

They love it!  And she loves them!

Welcome to the family, Piper!

What a Hoot!

I am finally getting around to posting pictures of the other baby quilt that I mentioned in a previous post.  This one was given to a new baby in the church, Abbey.

These cute little owls were fun to make, but took a LONG time. 

I hand appliqued them, but then machine pieced and quilted the rest.

Denver put all of the eyes on the owls. 

He wanted to make sure they were looking in all different directions. 

It really made the quilt cute and whimsical.

The Power of A Voice

Denver has been gone all week.  More than a week actually.  He left last Saturday for Haiti and won't be home until tomorrow night.  It's been a really long week for me.

I've had the boys almost all by myself.  My mom took all the boys for a few hours both Sunday afternoons that he was gone and Eli spent the night at her house on Friday night.  I also had a babysitter on Friday night for the older boys so I was able to go to dinner with a couple of girl friends.  We had a great time laughing and enjoying ourselves.  I really appreciated the breaks here and there.  I love my boys desperately, but sometimes it's nice to have a few minutes to myself and talk to some other "big people".

The really hard part about Denver being in Haiti is that we can't even talk on the phone while he is there.  Our cell phones don't have an international plan and to add it for the week he is gone is really expensive.  We are able to email in the evenings, but by that time in the day Denver has been exhausted, sometimes emails are slow going back and forth, and Denver has to email from his small phone.  It makes it difficult to have a real conversation.

Tonight though, Denver and the guys flew from Haiti to New York.  And guess what?!  I can call New York!!  I was so excited to hear my husband's voice.  It seems like such a small thing, but I found it so comforting...so relaxing...so calming. 

Before his call I had been having a rough evening.  Ben, Caleb and Eli are really missing their dad too.  They always fight amongst each other, but they have been even more emotional and easily irritated by each other.  Tonight though....whew!  They were just going at it.  I finally just lost my cool and I really raised my voice yelled at them.  Wouldn't you know that exactly 3 seconds later there was a knock at my door.  It was the neighbor.  I know he heard me screaming at my kids.  I felt absolutely horrible.  Horrible that he heard and horrible that I lost it.

But you know what?  As soon as I heard Denver's voice...it was all good again.  It is such a blessing to be married to my best friend.  Someone who knows me inside out.  Someone who loves me unconditionally.  Someone who can calm my heart with the smallest word.

I pray that God would continue to help us build and strengthen our marriage.  That it would glorify Him and that we could lead our children and others to know Him better.  Oh what a gift I have been given!

It was Caleb this time.

Looking back through my posts, I've noticed that I tend to write things about Ben.  I'm not sure why.  Maybe it's because he's started school this year and is having new experiences.  Or maybe because he's learning more about the world around him.  At any rate, this time it was Caleb who's said the funniest and most compassionate things the last few days.

Caleb loves to make people laugh. 
This was taken poolside last summer.

I'll start with the funny.  I posted this on my Facebook page, but for those of you that missed it....I'll tell about it again.  The other day Ben and Caleb were downstairs playing the Wii when of course they started fighting.  Those two can fight about anything.  I used to jump in right away and try to calm things down, but if I still tried to do that....I wouldn't do anything else for the rest of the day.  So these days I sometimes let them work it out for themselves...so long as there isn't any "touching" involved.  So this is the conversation I hear from downstairs:

"Stop!  Or I'm not going to call you my brother anymore." said Ben.

Caleb's reply, "I don't care if you call me your brother.  I am your brother for always.  You can only not be my brother if you go back in mommy's tummy and come out someone elses!"

Holy Cow!   It took everything in my not to laugh hysterically at the top of the stairs.  It was one rare moment when Ben didn't have a response.


Later in the day I was giving Eli some medicine.  For the last week and a half the boys have been passing around Strep Throat.  (We're praying that Denver doesn't get it before or during his Haiti trip.)  Anyway, Eli woke up sick that morning and was feeling pretty bad.  He'd slept and not ate anything all morning long.  He was only up to get some more medicine.

Caleb walked in the kitchen, saw what I was doing and asked, "Mom, did you pray for Jesus to touch him yet?"  Uh.  Uh.  Uh.  I totally had the deer in the headlights look. 

"Well.....not yet."  I said.

"I'll do it."  So Caleb took Eli by the hand and walked him down the hallway to his bedroom.  I quietly followed behind.  I felt so low and disappointed in myself for not praying for Eli and also so proud and in awe of Caleb and his faith.

Eli and Caleb
(Eli's in the stage where his smile
is more of a grimace. ha!)

I stood in the hall and peeked into the room as Caleb let Eli climb onto the bed first and then got up behind him.  Eli laid down on his pillow and Caleb helped him pull the covers up.  Then my four year old sat beside his little brother, put his small hand on Eli's forehead and prayed something like this:

     "Dear Jesus,

     Thank you for my food because I forgot to pray before lunch.  And please touch Eli because he is really sick.  Please take his sick away.  In Jesus name, amen."

Then Caleb told Eli to go to sleep, climbed down from the bed and met me in the hall.  I asked him, "Caleb, do you think Jesus hears when we pray and that he helps us?"

"Yep."  Then he took off.  There were toys to play with and things to do.  I, however, stood in the hallway for a moment.  I stood still and took the time to pray for my sick little guy and to thank God for the faith of my Caleb.  I know that Caleb doesn't understand it all yet, but I just am in awe of him.  I guess that's the childlike faith that God tells us about. 

Baby Quilts for Twins!

 My mom and I made these two quilts together.  Last week I was finally able to go over to my friends house to give them to her and to her two beautiful daughters.  I had a wonderful time catching up and holding her little ones.  Eli even went with me and got to hold them too!  He just loves babies.

This week I am finishing up another baby quilt for a shower that we are having this Sunday.  I'll post pictures of that one after it's given away.




Flowers







Butterflies



The Things He Says

This morning I took the boys grocery shopping with me.  I very rarely...almost never... take all three of them with me.  I usually wait to go when Denver can be home with them; however, Denver is out of town at a Worship Conference.  If we wanted to eat while he was gone then we all had to go together.

Before we left I told them that if they were really good while I was doing my shopping that we would eat at the McDonald's there in Walmart before we took Ben to school.  We did our shopping and all three of them were pretty good.  Of course Eli wanted out of the cart, Caleb wanted in the cart, and Ben wanted everything he saw...but all an all it was a good trip.

At McDonald's we ordered, found seats, got a million little cups of ketchup (which still didn't turn out being enough), each picked out our own kind of pop and settled down to pray for our food.  As the boys started eating I noticed that there was a television behind me that was giving updates on the earthquake and tsunami in Japan.  I asked Ben to switch seats with me so that I could see the television.  After we traded spots, he asked me why I wanted to watch the television.  I told him that there had a been an earthquake in Japan.  He knows what an earthquake is because he's heard about the one in Haiti.  Then I told him a little bit about the tsunami.  He didn't understand that as well and wondered if the people were going to surf on the big waves.

Anyway, if you remember back to a previous post, Big Boy Decisions - Hard for Ben and Mommy, Ben agreed that we wouldn't get a new cat so that we could instead use the money for Denver to go to Haiti again. 

So today a few minutes after telling Ben about Japan's earthquake he looks at me and says, "Is Daddy going to Japan to help those people with their earthquake too?"

"No, Daddy isn't going to Japan.  He's still just going to Haiti."  I replied.

Ben smacks his hand to his forehead in relief and says, "I hope the boys and girls in Japan get their schools and homes fixed, but I'm glad Daddy's not going cause then we could NEVER get another cat!"

Oh my Ben.  How I love you.

When I told Denver on the phone later this afternoon, his response was "ahh...the priorities of a little boy."

Ben didn't mention anything else about the earthquake the rest of the day.  But tonight when we went to bed he prayed for the people in Japan.  And he didn't once mention a cat.  It made me a proud mama.  It's hard for all of us to think of those outside our own little world sometimes...sometimes it takes a six-year-old to remind me.

Why Do We Keep Going Back?

Last Sunday the boys and I stayed home from church.  Our family had all taken turns being sick last week, so we didn't want to take our germy boys to church to share with other families.  While we were home, the boys and I read a story out of their Bible Children's Story Book.

Our story came from Genesis 14.  In the story, Lot and his family are living in the city of Sodom.  The Bible tells us that Sodom was not a good place to live.  The town was full of wicked people who didn't honor God.  While Lot and his family are living there, they are taken captive along with others from the town.  When Lot's uncle, Abram, hears what has happened to his family, he gathers his trained men and rescues Lot's family and the other people and goods that were taken.

Later we learn that after being saved, Lot and his family return to Sodom.  Really?  They return to the city that is wicked?  They return to the city that was defeated? 

Several hours after reading the story, Ben who's six, came to me and asked, "Why would Lot and his family return to a bad place?"  That's a good question, isn't it?

Part of me wonders...Did Lot and his family recognize how bad their city was or did they close their eyes to things they didn't want to acknowledge?  We've all done it before, right?  Sometimes it's easier to ignore something we don't want to deal with.  If we don't really acknowledge it....then we can pretend it's not there. 

It's like, "I know that there is laundry to do, but if I stay out of the laundry room it's easy to ignore for awhile."  Except that when  you finally go into the laundry room the mountains of dirty clothes are higher than before.  Or how about when God is speaking to you about something he wants you to change in your life...and you do everything you can do to avoid having the conversation with God or those he is using to speak to you.  If I don't say it out loud, or I don't acknowledge it to someone else...I can just move on and forget about it.  Except it doesn't work that way.  It will come up again...eventually.

Or maybe Lot went back knowing that it was a wicked place, but went back because...well...that's just where he lived.  I think we do that too.  We know that there is something we need to change, something we need to do, or not do...but we just keep doing the same old things because that's what we do.

After the kids and I read this story, Denver came home from church and throughout the night began to tell me about everything I'd missed at church.  He told me about who was sick and who was there.  He passed on messages and reminded me of things I need to check on for people and he also told me a little about his sermon.  Part of what he preached about was how we sometimes get into this pattern of "sin, confess, repeat.  sin, confess repeat....".  Yep.  We do.  I do.  It's kinda like Lot...going back to the wicked place.

I know God is speaking to me this week.  I have things to change.  I need to quit going back to a place that God has freed me from....a place where I'm in captivity...a place where I fall back into old routines.  I don't want to go back.  I don't want to "repeat".  If my son Ben knows that we shouldn't go back to the wicked place....then shouldn't I?

How about you?  Do you have things that you keep going back to?  Why?  God doesn't want us to live in these places.  His plans are so much better for his children. 

Oh, What A Week!

Whew!  We made it.  Last weekend I went to Quilt Camp (more about that later).  On the drive home last Sunday I spoke with Denver on the phone.  He told me that Caleb had been throwing up all day....beginning that morning in the nursery.  Ewww....I know.  I felt so bad for not being there.  The poor little guy hasn't thrown up since he was a baby, so he had no idea what was going on.  I was anxious to get home to him. 

I later found out that Eli had gotten sick the night before, but everyone thought that it was because he had gotten a hold of a whole bag of peperoni without any one's knowledge.  I think that would make me sick too.  Sneaking a bag of peperoni is a typical Eli behavior.  He's into much more than his older brothers ever thought about.

On Monday both Eli and Caleb seemed mostly better.  Overnight Monday, I got sick and by Tuesday morning Denver was sick too.  Three young boys with two sick parents does not for a good time make.  Of course I hadn't been to the grocery store since coming back from camp, so our kitchen was pretty bare.  Thankfully my dad dropped us off some bread one afternoon and my friend Erica brought over some crackers and some Sprite.  By Thursday morning we were mostly recovered.

Then Thursday night Ben came downstairs to our room and said, "My tummy hurts".  Denver was out of bed before I could blink and rushed Ben to the bathroom.  By Friday morning, Ben was fine and begging us to eat everything in the house.  He was also mad at us because we wouldn't let him go to school.  While Ben seemed fine, Eli started with some pretty nasty diapers again.

So now it's finally Sunday again.  Eli is getting better, but we didn't think it was a good idea to be sending our germ infested children to church just yet.  So the boys and I are home today. 

We've had a good morning.  We raced cars down the track and separated them by which ones could jump the loop.  We played numerous hands of Toy Story Uno.  I made cookies and the boys ate them.  We read a story out of our Bible Story Book.  The boys played their Leapsters and I cleaned the kitchen.  Finally the boys ate lunch and are now watching part of Space Chimps while they wait for Daddy to get home from church.  When he gets here we're going to have our Official Sunday Afternoon Family Nap Time. 

It's been a great morning with minimal fighting between brothers, but I miss church.  I can't wait to get back next week for service....or...errr...ummm....I'm in the nursery next week.  I hope none of the kids throw up in there on MY week. 

One of My Favorites!

I was just closing the computer when I saw one of my favorite pictures of all three boys. 

Aren't they cute?  My mom took this one after taking them apple picking in the fall.

 

Book Review - Regret Free Parenting

I recently discovered booksneeze.com.  It is a website that will send you free books as long as you agree to write a review and post it to your blog and another site such as amazon.com or 
barnesandnoble.com.  Since I love to read, I thought this would be a great idea for me.  I got my first book several weeks ago and below you will see my first review.

Just FYI - I was going to have a giveaway and pass along this wonderful book to one of my parent friends, but my little Eli sat a wet washcloth down on top of the book so now it's a little damaged.  Oh well....the joys of motherhood!  :o)  Maybe next time, friends.

“Regret Free Parenting:  Raise Good Kids and Know You're Doing it Right” by Catherine Hickem is a standout when it comes to books on parenting.  This book gives seven principals of intentional motherhood.  Every mother has hopes, desires and visions for her children.  Mothers can’t just “hope” their children turn out to be mature, responsible, caring, Christ-centered adults.  We have to be intentional about helping our children become who God has created them to be.  This book can help every mother to become an intentional mother.

I loved that while this book was practical, it didn’t give step by step instructions that only work for some children.  Regret Free Parenting brings up issues that all mothers know their children need help with and then shows parents how their behavior, words, actions or lack thereof, affects their children.  The book was easy to read.  Each time I read a section I was able to come away with one thing that I could do immediately.  One time it was simply being intentional about telling my kids that I am so happy and blessed because they are my children.

My one suggestion when reading this book is that you read it with a highlighter in hand.  There will be many passages that you want to mark and reread later.  Regret Free Parenting is a great resource for mothers everywhere.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com <http://BookSneeze®.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255

Acting Out Stories Can Be Painful

Our family has started something new.  Denver and I decided that we needed to be more intentional about reading the Bible to our boys, so every night after dinner we've decided to read a story to them out of Egermeiers Bible Story Book. 

So far we've read three stories.  Nights number one and number two went perfectly.  The boys were really interested in creation.  They got involved and we went over and over what things were made on certain days.  Ben thinks it's pretty cool that God made Adam out of dust and "blew into him to make him come alive."  (He's right.  It is pretty cool.) 

The next night we read about Adam and Eve being tempted by the serpent and eating the forbidden fruit.  Denver asked the boys if they knew what a serpent was...Caleb answered, "Someone who does things for someone else".  Servant...serpent....hmmmm.  Not quite, but thanks buddy.  They can be so cute.

And then there was last night.  The story was "The First Children".  We started out ok.  Denver read the first part of the story about how Adam and Eve had two boys, Cain and Abel.  Then we got to the part where they built an alter and Denver decided it would be good to act out the story.  He sent the boys to their rooms to get their pillows.  Ben and Caleb brought back two, but Eli brought out one pillow and Bullseye from Toy Story. 

Denver and the boys piled up the pillows to make their alter.  Denver told Ben that he could be Cain and told Caleb that he would be Abel.  Then we went on to read that Abel brought the fattest lamb to put on the alter.  Poor Bullseye became the lamb.  (I know, I cringed and "awwwww"ed too.)  Then Ben, or Cain, got to put his vegetables (or the leaf of a house plant) on the alter.  Of course God was not happy with Cain's offering.  This made Cain angry.



Poor Bullseye looks much happier here
than he did on the pillow alter last night!

We then read the that Cain and Abel were later working in the field.  Cain is so angry with Abel that they fight and Cain kills Abel.  (As you can probably guess, this is where our little story time turns painful.)  Denver tells the two boys to act like they are fighting and then to act like Cain (Ben) kills Abel (Caleb). 

The boys started by growling at each other.  Then their claw like hands came out.  Before we knew it they were wrestling.  This wasn't too big of a surprise since it is an everyday occurrence in our house.  Next Caleb falls to his hands and knees with Ben on top of him.  By this time Denver and I are both telling them to stop; however before Ben can get off, Caleb's arms collapse and his forehead hits the hard floor.  Ouch!  Caleb started crying and our story time ended with Daddy holding Caleb and Ben saying "I didn't mean to!  I was being Cain!"

As Ben, Eli and I were cleaning up the pillows and poor Bullseye, I heard Denver say to Caleb, "Just wait until we get to David and Goliath, Caleb.  You can be David." 

And there you have it.  Good old family time at our house.  ha!

Unanswered Prayers

I used to listen to country music a lot.  Especially when I was in high school.  My friend Steph and I would drive around in her car singing.  She would sing loud while I was a little more quiet.  (Don't worry, she knows this is the truth and wouldn't be offended by the comment.  :o)  Some songs were fun and crazy.  Then when songs like "Someone Else's Star" by Bryan White came on, we would get really quiet and just know that he was singing about us.

I don't listen to country music very often any more.  One night last week I was driving home from church.  I was alone.  It was dark.  I wanted to sing to the radio.  I turned on WFRN, but it was Odyssey time....not really for me.  Then I hit Pulse, but it was a commercial break.  So next I switched over the the country station.  I don't really remember what was playing at first.  It was a song I knew, so at least I fulfilled my urge to sing out loud and alone in the car.

The next song on was "Unanswered Prayers" by Garth Brooks.  I know, the song can be a little cheesy.  But I knew the words and continued to sing a long.  The words made me start to reflect a little on my own life.  Now, I don't think God leaves prayers unanswered.  Sometimes he answers yes, sometimes wait and sometimes his answer is just no.  I think sometimes we feel like it was unanswered when we don't get the results we want in a timely fashion.

Anyway, it made me think about my past.  The things I've prayed for and wanted so badly.  And you know what?  I am so very thankful that his answer was "no".  Like most people, I have chosen to be in bad relationships and friendships.  The people I was with and the things that we did together didn't honor God and they weren't healthy for me.  At the time, in the back of my mind, I knew these things.  I knew they were poor choices, but even still I prayed that God would help everything thing to work out with that person or those friends.  I spent many nights up crying and begging God to answer my prayers with a yes.

That night in the car I spent some time thinking about what my life might be like now if I'd gotten what I so badly wanted then.  I am so thankful.  I am so glad that I serve a God who loves me.  A Father that won't always give me what I want, what I think is best or what I deserve.  A God who tells me "no".

If I had gotten what I wanted then, I may not even have a relationship with God now.  I wouldn't be with my amazing and loving husband.  I wouldn't have my three handsome and crazy boys.  I am blessed.....so blessed, because his answer was "no".

I'm afraid of the dark.

Yep.  I said it.  I am afraid of the dark.  Well, I guess it's not really the dark itself but more of what is in or could be in the dark.  When Denver is away over night I hardly sleep.  I'm always afraid someone is going to break in and get us while he's gone.  I lay in bed staring at the door watching for someone.  I run through my mind what I would do if someone did break in...how would I get to the boys...where is my phone...how could we get out of the house.  I know...I'm crazy.  It probably doesn't help that I really enjoy watching all those crime and cops shows on television.

I'm afraid of other things too.  I'm not talking about snakes or spiders although I can't say I'm particularly fond of them, but I'm thinking more about life.  Things that could happen. 

Sometimes when I read or hear stories about families with small children who suffer from awful diseases, it scares me.  It makes me grateful for the health of my children, but it also causes fear.  I mean, if it could happen to their kids then it could happen to mine.  That's scary stuff and I often wonder if I could handle going through something like that.

It scares me to think about myself becoming sick or hurt.  I mean, what if I had cancer or was in a serious car accident.  I know that Denver loves the boys beyond belief and would take wonderful care of them, but children need their mom right?  I love those little boogers.

The thing that is scaring me recently though is Denver's return trip to Haiti.  I wasn't really scared the first time he went.  I was anxious, but not fearful.  A week and a half before he went last time, I was on my own mission trip, so maybe I was just more distracted that time.  Whatever the reason, this time I am scared.  What if something happens to him?  What would I do without him?  What would the boys do without their daddy?  How could we keep our house?  Where could I find a job?  Who would watch the boys while I was at my job?  How could I even function without him? 

Denver knows that I have these fears.  He keeps telling me, "Don't be afraid.  God doesn't give us a spirit of fear."  My response is "Yes, dear.  Easy for you to say.  I'm just being realistic."  However, after doing some reading and praying today, I realize what I'm really saying is "My faith is small."

See, Denver has been called to Haiti.  He has no doubt and neither do I.  God has a job for him there.  He's following God's will.  So I'm saying, "God, I don't trust you.  I don't have faith in you."  Ouch....not exactly what I want to say. 

The good news is:

• faith banishes fear
• faith breeds praise
• when I am praising God my fears fade and my faith flourishes. 

So it all starts with a little faith and a little praise.  So I'm going to try.  I'm going to set aside my fears and grab on to my faith.  I am going to praise my Heavenly Father.  I am going to give him my fears and let him work in my life.  I know this doesn't mean that my boys won't get sick, or that I won't have some terrible accident or that Denver is guaranteed to be safe it Haiti.  But it does mean that I trust my God to be with me.  I trust that he has a plan for me and my family.  A plan not to harm us...a plan to give us a hope and a future.  This will be hard for me.  I may need some reminders from my friends.  But this is what I want.  I want to trust...I want to have faith.

“When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?"     

Psalm 56:3-4

 

So what are you afraid of today?  What keeps you awake at night?  Do you want to live a life of fear or can you grab on to your faith instead? 

Our Story

Today marks our Eighth Anniversary.  I posted this on Facebook today and was very blessed by all those who took the time to wish us happy anniversary.  We are very fortunate to know so many people who care about us. 

Our Wedding Day
February 1, 2003

As I was reading the comments, the one that stuck with me the most was from a family member who wrote, "wow!  a lot has happened in 8 years."  She's right.  A lot has happened.  What really drove it home though are the names of all the people that commented on my post.  Most of them are people that Denver and I have met and known along those 8 years.  We've been in a lot of places, hit a lot of valleys, climbed a lot of mountains and been blessed beyond belief. 

We have served in three churches, lived in eight different houses/apartments, had three handsome boys, lost a special uncle, went through illnesses with my mom and Denver's mom, lost Denver's mom, gone on mission trips, bought our first home and on and on and on...  These are just a few big things off of the top of my head.  We been through and done a lot. 

As I sit and think about this tonight I find I am so thankful that God led me to Denver.  I am so thankful that I was able to do all these things and go through all of these things with my best friend.  I am thankful to be married to a man of God, a wonderful father, a loving husband, a caring pastor, a loyal friend.  I am thankful to be married to a man that always tries to do the right thing even when it's hard or uncomfortable.  To a man who encourages me to be better.  I am truly blessed.

So now that I've been all mushy about our marriage, I'll leave you with a funny story.  Are you interested in why we were married on February 1st?  Two reasons.  First, the date would have been my maternal grandparents 50th anniversary.  Second, the lease on Denver's apartment ran out on January 31st and he was going to need a place to stay.  ha!  True story!

I have big ideas.

“And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.”

Matthew 13:58

 

Boy, I sure don't want this scripture to be what God writes about me.  My devotion for the day was on faith.  It talked about how God wants us to have a big vision because having a big vision reflect our faith in a big God.  All this talk about vision got me really excited. 

 

This is one of my gifts.  I'm a visionary.   I have big ideas...see how things should come together...like to figure out all the details...enjoy the troubleshooting part of a new project....love to get it started.  Then...I want to hand it all off to someone else so that I can start on the next thing. 

 

Sometimes this is a good thing.  Sometimes it works because I have worked hard to follow God's path and not my own.  Often times God has called someone to take over when I'm ready to hand things off because some people are gifted with the follow through...but not so much with the ideas to get things up and running. 

 

And then sometimes I forget to include God's plans in my vision, so there is no one called or prepared for the position that I think is needed.  Somtimes it's just fun to start something new and I get to many irons in the fire.

 

So my devotion today made me excited and yet made me want to be cautious.  You see, I am in the middle of planning a summer mission trip to work with a church in Chinle, Arizona.  The church is located on Navajo Nation, an Indian Reservation.  Last summer I went there with 3 other women from the church.  We were put together with other families from California and Colorado.  This year we are planning the whole trip ourselves and it will only be members from our church going.  This is huge and I am nearly BURSTING at the seams with ideas!  I have a vision that has been taking shape for the last several months.

 

During my reading and quiet time today, I think God was warning me of two things:

 

Number One:  This one is pretty obvious...whatever vision I have should glorify Him.  I can glorify Him by having faith that he knows best and by letting him be in control.  I need to get rid of any selfish ideas or thoughts of control.  This isn't my trip.  It's not about what I want.  It's not about my comfort.  It's not about what's easy for me or puts me in the limelight.  First it's about my Savior and second it's about the people that I am going to serve.  Everything I do for this trip should point right back to God.



Kids we got to spend time with during
Bible School last year in Arizona.

 
Number Two:  God's vision is bigger than my own.  Today I read, "Expand your vision of what He wants you to do by tenfold, maybe a hundredfold. Do not sell your Savior short. Why settle for a few who might find Christ, when you can trust God for hundreds, even thousands who will grace the gates of glory because you believed Him in a big way." (Boyd Bailey)  God can do and wants to do infinitely more than I can even begin to imagine!  This is so exciting because I already feel like my vision is big!  What a Mighty God we serve!





  

I Refuse

Do you ever get news and it feels like someone dropped a rock into the pit of your stomach?  Or you feel like you could just throw up at any second?  My husband got a call today and when I heard about it...that was the way I felt.  It's the way I still feel. 

It was a call to tell us that someone was in a car accident and passed away this afternoon.  This just happened, so I don't want to share who this person is...I want to respect the family's privacy.

While I was totally surprised by this phone call, what really bothers me is that I'm fearful for this person's eternal home.  I know that only God knew her heart and that she could be in heaven, but I also never heard her claim salvation.  It leaves me wondering.  It also leaves me with a heavy heart.  You see, this is a person that I knew.  A person that I would sometimes see on holidays or when we went out of town to visit.  This is a person that I sat in the same room with over Thanksgiving weekend.  She knew that I am a Christian.  But never once did I bring up salvation to her.  Not once...in eight plus years.

As I was contemplating this after the phone call I tried to justify myself.  I told myself that I personally knew of several people in her life who have a relationship with Christ.  Those people were closer to her.  They should have/could have shared with her.  Or that she had been a part of several family members funerals in the past several years so she had contact with pastors at that point...they could have/should have shared with her.  Maybe these people did and maybe she had made a personal decision to accept Christ, but regardless....it doesn't let me off the hook.

It is my mission, my job, my calling, my responsibility.  Because I know Jesus as my Savior.  Because I have accepted God gift of salvation.  The gift is free, but with it comes the responsibility to share it. 

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." 

Matthew 28:19-20.

I failed.  What scares me more than simply failing is my desire or should I say lack of desire.  I should be so filled with the love of Jesus that it oozes out of me.  I should be so overwhelmed by his love for me...by his grace...by his mercy....that I can't help but share it with others.  God is soooo good and yet so many times I keep him to myself.  That's not what I want.  That's not what God wants from me either.

So tonight I've asked God for forgiveness.  I am going to pray for this persons family like you wouldn't believe.  That's the least I can do now.  And I am going to pray that God will fill me with desire to share the gospel with those who don't yet know Him.  I pray that He would burden my heart for those who don't yet know about his love.  I pray that he will change me.

I've heard the song "I Refuse" by Josh Wilson on the radio lately.  Wow.  This is my prayer.

Log Cabin Quilt - Almost done!

Eli is already enjoying it.

I started quilting several years ago when Denver and I moved back up to Northern Indiana and Denver became the pastor of a church here.  My mom and the other ladies here have a Sewing B twice a month.  Some of them quilt, some knit or crochet, some scrapbook, some do needle work, and sometimes we just all get together and talk.  It's always a lot of fun.

Log Cabin Quilt Top

I knew nothing when I started, but my mom and the other ladies have taught me a lot.  I really enjoy it now and I'm learning to mix and match things to make my own patterns.  I just make what I like.  I've made several bedsize quilts, lap quilts and baby quilts, but I've never kept one for our family until now.  This one is going to be for our family room.  I finished the top of this log cabin quilt last night.  It still needs a border before I quilt it, but I thought I'd share it anyway.

I also have a baby quilt that is ready to quilt.  I'll post a picture of it after I give it away as a gift.  I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise for the parents to be!

If you live in the area and want to join us for our Sewing B's, please let me know and I'll get you the information.  We'd love to have you!

Reading and Chocolate Cake



Ben doing schoolwork.
(I didn't take any pictures of him reading.
I thought it might make him more nervous.)



Since Ben started Kindergarten he's been bringing home little paper books every week or two that he's supposed to read to us.  He reads it to us, we sign the paper and then we send it back to his teacher.  It's been exciting to see him start to read, but mostly the words have been sight words.  He just memorizes it and then repeats it back for us at home.  Often times I've had to remind him to actually look at the book while he is "reading" the it to me.  While I'm glad that he's been learning these words and know that it's part of the process, I've really been looking forward to the next step.



Caleb loves chocolate!



 Today was the day.  Today Ben came home from school, sat down on the couch with his daddy and pulled out a book that he really had to read.  He made mistakes.  He needed help.  But he read the book.  He can read!  Now while I was excited about this, Ben wasn't so much.  He gets easily frustrated when he gets something wrong and would much rather be doing math.  He always tells us, "Mrs. Csenar says that I am really smart at math."  I don't think that it's that he doesn't like books....he's just afraid to be wrong.  He's one of those kids that doesn't really want to try something in front of others until he's absolutely sure that he can do it well.  I can relate. 

Eli helped too!



Anyway, I was so proud of him and wanted to give Caleb and Eli something fun to do while Ben was reading, so we decided to bake Ben a chocolate cake to celebrate.  The younger boys had a great time and Caleb even managed to keep the cake a secret from Ben until the cake came out of the oven.  This is a major accomplishment since Caleb was wearing the evidence all over his face! ha! 

After dinner the boys had their cake.  I surprised them by getting out all of the leftover sprinkles from Halloween and Christmas.  The each got to put their own sprinkles on their pieces.  Of course they wanted to put some of each sprinkle on their little piece of cake, but they loved it!