This time last year

This morning when I was looking at Facebook, I clicked on "See your memories".  This is one of my posts from this day last year:

"My grandmother passed away today.  I was blessed to be able to hold her hand as she took her last breath.  My childhood is full of memories of time spent with her.  My heart hurts, but like my grandpa said when he heard the news "Praise the Lord!"  There's no more pain and suffering and she's in the presence of Jesus."

That was a tough day.  There has been a lot of tough days this past year.  There are days that I miss her so much it brings me to tears.  There are so many days that I want to call her and share with her things that are happening in our lives.  There are days when I drive by her home or the nursing home and I want to stop in to visit and see the smile on her face when I walk in the room.  I want to hear her tell me that she loves me.  



I spent this past week with a friend.  During that time we talked about my grandparents.  During the conversation my friend said, "It's such a precious legacy they left for you."  I looked up the word legacy.  One definition is:  anything handed down from the past.  

My grandma definitely left me a legacy.

My grandma could not leave me the gift of salvation.  Salvation is something personal between Jesus and me.  I am not saved because my grandma was saved.  But my grandma did lead me to the foot of the cross...to Jesus.  My grandma faithfully took me to church starting at the age of two.  She taught my Junior Church class.  She helped me with my memory verses.  She showed me what it meant to serve.  She prayed for me.  She prayed with me.  She read her Bible faithfully and in front of me.  The list goes on and on.

It's all a part of her legacy.

Last Sunday we baptized five people at church.  My grandma loved baptisms.  She loved that people who had accepted Jesus were following Him in baptism.  Grandma knew that baptisms don't save people, but that it is only a picture or symbol of what someone has already done in their heart.  But she saw it as such a time of celebration.  I remember being small and helping her gather towels and robes in preparation of a baptism and afterwards gathering those same towels and robes to take home to wash.  It was never a burden to her.  It was time of joy.  Last week as I stood in her place handing out towels I couldn't help but think about how excited she would be about the baptisms.  Later I cried because I wanted to pick up the phone and share the excitement with her.

It's another part of her legacy.

I miss her.  Occasionally the tears still come and my heart still hurts, but I am so thankful for  her legacy.

On another note...just to leave you with a laugh...

My other Facebook memory from this day last year says:

"I just heard from downstairs 'Hold him!  Hold him!  I can get his nipples'"

Boys!

I've Missed This.

Ahhh...I've missed this.  Writing.  It's a creative outlet that helps me to process information...and emotions...and relationships...and scriptures...and parenting issues...and well, lots of stuff.  My family has gone through some sad times in the past year and over and over I've thought to myself that I wanted to get back to writing, but I just never made the time.  This morning I decided the time is now.

My prayer is that God would use my writing time to strengthen my faith and relationships and that by sharing others might also be encouraged and strengthened.  So as I sit here on the couch this morning,  I pray to our Father, the one who loves us more than any other, that he would use my words to work in not only my life, but yours too.  I'm praying for you, dear reader.

A few weeks ago during my devotion time I came across this verse:

 "And the Lord said, 'My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.'' 

Exodus 33:14. 

It is such a comforting verse.  I've been focusing on the first part "my presence will go with you".  It's one of those things that I learned in Sunday School so many years ago. I know it in my head but day to day I don't really grasp it.  As I sit here and really try to comprehend what that means it's overwhelming.  The presence of God is with me.  With you.  The same God that created the earth, that split the sea, that rained down manna from heaven is here.  In this very room.  Isn't that amazing?  How do I so often take that for granted?

The view from the deck at The Cove.

Last fall Denver and I had an amazing opportunity to attend a retreat at the The Cove.  It's the Billy Graham Retreat Center in Asheville, North Carolina.  Each year Church of God Ministries and Christians Broadcasting Hope, rent out the facilities there and hold a retreat.  Denver and I were able to enjoy some time away together and to attend a few classes especially for pastors.  It was a great weekend and I hope we can go back again sometime.

The speaker during the retreat was Jim Lyon.  He is the General Director of the Church of God.  He weaves a lot of storytelling and history into his messages.  He shared a lot with us over the long weekend, but one simple thing he said continues to come back to me much like the scripture above.  He said, "Whenever you enter a room, the Spirit of Jesus Christ enters with you."  It sounds simple but something about it really spoke to me.  I kept entering different rooms in the beautiful buildings with vaulted ceilings and giant fireplaces and each time I would cross the threshold, I would think "He's here."  It's amazing how differently you think about things, how differently you treat people, how differently you speak when you first think "He's here."  I want to get back to that way of thinking again.

I've started today.  When I walk into my kitchen "He's here".  When I head down to do mounds of laundry "He's here."  When my boys fight or ask what's for dinner for the hundredth time "He's here." When I'm serving at the food pantry tomorrow "He's here."  When I feel like someone isn't treating me fairly "He's here."

"And the Lord said, 'My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest'" Exodus 33:14.

"He's here."