Monday, January 31, 2011

I have big ideas.

“And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.”
Matthew 13:58
 
Boy, I sure don't want this scripture to be what God writes about me.  My devotion for the day was on faith.  It talked about how God wants us to have a big vision because having a big vision reflect our faith in a big God.  All this talk about vision got me really excited. 
 
This is one of my gifts.  I'm a visionary.   I have big ideas...see how things should come together...like to figure out all the details...enjoy the troubleshooting part of a new project....love to get it started.  Then...I want to hand it all off to someone else so that I can start on the next thing. 
 
Sometimes this is a good thing.  Sometimes it works because I have worked hard to follow God's path and not my own.  Often times God has called someone to take over when I'm ready to hand things off because some people are gifted with the follow through...but not so much with the ideas to get things up and running. 
 
And then sometimes I forget to include God's plans in my vision, so there is no one called or prepared for the position that I think is needed.  Somtimes it's just fun to start something new and I get to many irons in the fire.
 
So my devotion today made me excited and yet made me want to be cautious.  You see, I am in the middle of planning a summer mission trip to work with a church in Chinle, Arizona.  The church is located on Navajo Nation, an Indian Reservation.  Last summer I went there with 3 other women from the church.  We were put together with other families from California and Colorado.  This year we are planning the whole trip ourselves and it will only be members from our church going.  This is huge and I am nearly BURSTING at the seams with ideas!  I have a vision that has been taking shape for the last several months.
 
During my reading and quiet time today, I think God was warning me of two things:
 
Number One:  This one is pretty obvious...whatever vision I have should glorify Him.  I can glorify Him by having faith that he knows best and by letting him be in control.  I need to get rid of any selfish ideas or thoughts of control.  This isn't my trip.  It's not about what I want.  It's not about my comfort.  It's not about what's easy for me or puts me in the limelight.  First it's about my Savior and second it's about the people that I am going to serve.  Everything I do for this trip should point right back to God.

Kids we got to spend time with during
Bible School last year in Arizona.
 
Number Two:  God's vision is bigger than my own.  Today I read, "Expand your vision of what He wants you to do by tenfold, maybe a hundredfold. Do not sell your Savior short. Why settle for a few who might find Christ, when you can trust God for hundreds, even thousands who will grace the gates of glory because you believed Him in a big way." (Boyd Bailey)  God can do and wants to do infinitely more than I can even begin to imagine!  This is so exciting because I already feel like my vision is big!  What a Mighty God we serve!


  

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I Refuse

Do you ever get news and it feels like someone dropped a rock into the pit of your stomach?  Or you feel like you could just throw up at any second?  My husband got a call today and when I heard about it...that was the way I felt.  It's the way I still feel. 

It was a call to tell us that someone was in a car accident and passed away this afternoon.  This just happened, so I don't want to share who this person is...I want to respect the family's privacy.

While I was totally surprised by this phone call, what really bothers me is that I'm fearful for this person's eternal home.  I know that only God knew her heart and that she could be in heaven, but I also never heard her claim salvation.  It leaves me wondering.  It also leaves me with a heavy heart.  You see, this is a person that I knew.  A person that I would sometimes see on holidays or when we went out of town to visit.  This is a person that I sat in the same room with over Thanksgiving weekend.  She knew that I am a Christian.  But never once did I bring up salvation to her.  Not once...in eight plus years.

As I was contemplating this after the phone call I tried to justify myself.  I told myself that I personally knew of several people in her life who have a relationship with Christ.  Those people were closer to her.  They should have/could have shared with her.  Or that she had been a part of several family members funerals in the past several years so she had contact with pastors at that point...they could have/should have shared with her.  Maybe these people did and maybe she had made a personal decision to accept Christ, but regardless....it doesn't let me off the hook.

It is my mission, my job, my calling, my responsibility.  Because I know Jesus as my Savior.  Because I have accepted God gift of salvation.  The gift is free, but with it comes the responsibility to share it. 


"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." 
Matthew 28:19-20.


I failed.  What scares me more than simply failing is my desire or should I say lack of desire.  I should be so filled with the love of Jesus that it oozes out of me.  I should be so overwhelmed by his love for me...by his grace...by his mercy....that I can't help but share it with others.  God is soooo good and yet so many times I keep him to myself.  That's not what I want.  That's not what God wants from me either.

So tonight I've asked God for forgiveness.  I am going to pray for this persons family like you wouldn't believe.  That's the least I can do now.  And I am going to pray that God will fill me with desire to share the gospel with those who don't yet know Him.  I pray that He would burden my heart for those who don't yet know about his love.  I pray that he will change me.

I've heard the song "I Refuse" by Josh Wilson on the radio lately.  Wow.  This is my prayer.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Log Cabin Quilt - Almost done!

Eli is already enjoying it.
I started quilting several years ago when Denver and I moved back up to Northern Indiana and Denver became the pastor of a church here.  My mom and the other ladies here have a Sewing B twice a month.  Some of them quilt, some knit or crochet, some scrapbook, some do needle work, and sometimes we just all get together and talk.  It's always a lot of fun.

Log Cabin Quilt Top



I knew nothing when I started, but my mom and the other ladies have taught me a lot.  I really enjoy it now and I'm learning to mix and match things to make my own patterns.  I just make what I like.  I've made several bedsize quilts, lap quilts and baby quilts, but I've never kept one for our family until now.  This one is going to be for our family room.  I finished the top of this log cabin quilt last night.  It still needs a border before I quilt it, but I thought I'd share it anyway.

I also have a baby quilt that is ready to quilt.  I'll post a picture of it after I give it away as a gift.  I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise for the parents to be!

If you live in the area and want to join us for our Sewing B's, please let me know and I'll get you the information.  We'd love to have you!

Friday, January 21, 2011

Reading and Chocolate Cake


Ben doing schoolwork.
(I didn't take any pictures of him reading.
I thought it might make him more nervous.)

Since Ben started Kindergarten he's been bringing home little paper books every week or two that he's supposed to read to us.  He reads it to us, we sign the paper and then we send it back to his teacher.  It's been exciting to see him start to read, but mostly the words have been sight words.  He just memorizes it and then repeats it back for us at home.  Often times I've had to remind him to actually look at the book while he is "reading" the it to me.  While I'm glad that he's been learning these words and know that it's part of the process, I've really been looking forward to the next step.

Caleb loves chocolate!


 Today was the day.  Today Ben came home from school, sat down on the couch with his daddy and pulled out a book that he really had to read.  He made mistakes.  He needed help.  But he read the book.  He can read!  Now while I was excited about this, Ben wasn't so much.  He gets easily frustrated when he gets something wrong and would much rather be doing math.  He always tells us, "Mrs. Csenar says that I am really smart at math."  I don't think that it's that he doesn't like books....he's just afraid to be wrong.  He's one of those kids that doesn't really want to try something in front of others until he's absolutely sure that he can do it well.  I can relate. 
Eli helped too!


Anyway, I was so proud of him and wanted to give Caleb and Eli something fun to do while Ben was reading, so we decided to bake Ben a chocolate cake to celebrate.  The younger boys had a great time and Caleb even managed to keep the cake a secret from Ben until the cake came out of the oven.  This is a major accomplishment since Caleb was wearing the evidence all over his face! ha! 

After dinner the boys had their cake.  I surprised them by getting out all of the leftover sprinkles from Halloween and Christmas.  The each got to put their own sprinkles on their pieces.  Of course they wanted to put some of each sprinkle on their little piece of cake, but they loved it!


Thursday, January 20, 2011

Laughter and Animal Sounds

Do you ever look forward to getting together with people because you know that when you're around them you are guaranteed to laugh a lot?  I mean, it's important to have friends and people that listen and support you, that offer you sound and biblical advise, but it's also wonderful just to laugh and have a good time.

I get to laugh every Wednesday night during Youth Group.  When I first started working with the group they laughed and had a good time, but most of the time it seemed reserved.  They wouldn't do anything that might make themselves look uncool or just silly.  In the last several months things seemed to have changed.  They seem more comfortable with each other...more willing to let loose...to laugh together and to do crazy fun things.  For example, tonight we played a game in which everyone in the group had to pick an animal sound.  During the game you have to make your animal sound plus the sound of an animal that another person picked.  That person then makes their sound plus the sound of another...and on and on.  If someone doesn't respond quickly to their sound then they must go to the back of the line.
Michiana Community Church of God
Youth Convention 2010

Can you imagine teens and sponsors making dog, cat, pig, cow, lion, and duck sounds?  Now add in the fact that some people picked whales, walruses and dragons and added motions to their sounds.  It was absolutely hilarious.  It was also quite funny to see the faces of the adults as they peeked into the room to see what was happening.

I am so thankful that God has put these teenagers and sponsors into my life.  I am thankful that he has given the students confidence in themselves and that He has brought them closer to himself and to each other.  And I am thankful for laughter.  When is the last time you really laughed?



Monday, January 17, 2011

Big Boy Decisions - Hard for Ben and Mommy

Our family had two opportunities presented to us today.

Number One - Today Denver went to get some glasses.  We all went along so that I could help Denver pick out his frames.  Of course the boys got antsy while we were waiting, so while Denver was having his exam the boys and I went across the parking lot to Petco.  While we were there the boys found the perfect little kitty.  (As background, our family had some bad experiences with a dog this summer so decided to get the boys a kitten.  The kitten was very sweet, but we think it was given to us to early and it died.  Needless to say, our boys have had a rough time as far as pets go.)  Anyway, today they found this beautiful orange/carmel color 4 month old kitten.  She's already spayed, very sweet, playful, and wasn't scared of my three crazy boys coming at her.

So Denver and I discussed spending the $80.00 to buy her.  On top of the price we would then have to add the price of having her declawed.  (I know, I know...many people don't like the idea of declawing, but that's one of the rules if we have a cat.)  So we're talking somewhere around $150.00 for the cat, but we brought home the application and were really ready to fill it out.  Then came the next opportunity.

Number Two - Denver went to Haiti this summer on a Mission Trip.  He saw and experienced miracles first hand.  It was a once in a life time trip, except now he's getting a second chance to go again.  Denver got an email today from a lady who is starting a Non-Profit Organization to support a school in Haiti that would be ran by the pastor that Denver met and lived with while in Haiti.  The organization is Hearts United with Haiti (http://heartsunitedwithhaiti.blogspot.com/).  The email that he received was asking him to return to Haiti to visit the site of this school and then become Vice President of the Hearts United with Haiti Organization!  What an opportunity!  The downfall is that we would have to come up with the money for this trip on our own.  The $150.00 that we would spend on a kitten is a good start.


So when we look at the two opportunities presented, kitty or Haiti, it's obvious to adults which one is more important in the overall scheme of things.  However, such things are not as clear to a six year old who says, "But this kitty loves me so much."

Tonight at dinner Ben and I were talking about the kitty and his daddy going back to Haiti.  His first comment is that he doesn't want his daddy to go because he'll miss him again.  His second comment is that he really really wants this kitty.  I took some time to talk to Ben about the earthquake in Haiti.  He's heard some of it before from Denver's last trip.  Tonight we talked more about how the boys and girls there still don't have homes or schools.  Children not having schools really bothers Ben as he is a child that absolutely loves school and was really disappointed that Christmas break lasted so long. 

At the end of our conversation I asked Ben if we could pray and ask Jesus to tell us which was more important and what we should spend our money on - a kitty or his daddy's trip to Haiti.  We prayed and when we were finished Ben looked at me with watery eyes and said that his daddy should go help the boys and girls without schools.  What a hard thing for him to say!  I felt so proud of him and felt my heart breaking for him all at the same time.  He made such a big boy decision.

Now, Ben is only six.  He learning to make good choices and isn't always the kindest child.  Also, I'm sure that tomorrow or even before bed tonight he's going to ask for the kitten again, but I am so blessed to have a young boy that can show compassion for others even at his own cost.  Oh, how I love him.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

I Love My Church!

Caleb snuggled up and watching Scooby.
I haven't been to church in TWO weeks.  Let me tell you, it's been a long two weeks and I still have another 6 days until I have a chance to go again!  Last Sunday our services were canceled due to the snowy weather and roads.  This week Caleb and Eli are sick, so I had to stay home with them.  (For some reason Denver thinks that because he's the pastor....he's unable to be the one to stay home!   Sheesh!) 

Anyway, the boys and I had a good time together.  We cuddled, played the Wii, read books and watched Scooby Doo.  I even got to sew a little bit.  I enjoyed the quiet time with my two little guys, but I miss church.  There is just something about walking in the front door and being greeted by people who smile at me and are happy to see me.  It's comfortable and welcoming.  It's almost like coming home.  There is a peace and joy that fills my soul when it's time for worship...when my church family joins together and lifts their voices in praise to our Mighty God.  There's a love I feel when the Lord speaks to me and I go to the alter to pray and I know that there are people in their seats praying for me.

I love the people in my church.  I love the way that they love and care for my family.  The way that they talk to and listen to my boys.  I love how there are those that know my "I'm fine" isn't really true so they hug me and pray for me.  I love knowing that there is a person to call when I need a laugh or funny story, when I need someone to listen, when I need a recipe...such simple things, but things that God has blessed my family with by using our church.  I love my church.  I thank God for blessing my family with such incredible people and I can't wait to get back there next Sunday.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Sew Much Trouble!

Nope.  It's not a typo.  I am in "sew" much trouble.  I have discovered something.  I guess I knew it was there, but finally got the courage to look this week.  I have stepped into the world of crafter's blogs.  Did you know that there are millions of them?!  They have all of these incredible pictures and tutorials!  I now have about a ten thousand million and seventy two things I want to make.  (That's a Caleb number by the way...he's always making up crazy numbers.)

So now in my favorites I have this "To Make" folder.  It's filling up quite quickly.  I keep adding more and more things every day.  I have no idea how I'll find the time to make all of these things, but I can't stop looking for more!

I go to Quilt Camp next month.  While I am there I am planning to work on a quilt top, but I also plan to make these I Spy Bags.  http://www.skiptomylou.org/2010/12/16/i-spy-bag/  Don't they look like fun?  I'm already collecting things to put inside them.  I was thinking it might be fun to make a girly one too, so one of my friends little girls may be surprised with her own I Spy Bag.

The other night I needed a break from the quilt squares I was making so I tried this project:  http://hyena-in-petticoats.blogspot.com/2007/08/cathedral-window-quilt-tutorial.html  Isn't it just gorgeous!  It is however, very time consuming so if I were to make a quilt like this it would take me 25 years at least.  So I think I'll settle for a pillow.  I'll post pictures of the pillow in 5 years when I'm done with it.  :o)

Anyway, can you see why I am in Sew Much Trouble?  This is why I haven't blogged since Tuesday.  Every time I get on the computer I am drawn to look at these blogs.  I might need a 12 Step Program, but I don't want to start it just yet.  lol  So if you're looking for something to do today...check out a crafting blog, but don't say I didn't warn you.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

A Snowy Weekend with Noodles

As I sit at the table typing and looking out the window all that I see is white.  Our area was hit with a lot of snow this weekend.  Places in our area set a record for the most snow in one day!  In our town we got 20 some inches on Saturday.  So for sure we bundled up the three boys and went outside to play in it, right?  Well, we didn't.  I am surprised to say that they didn't even ask!  This is really surprising since Caleb is really excited to build a snowman.  He's talked about it constantly since winter hit.  More snow is coming today and tomorrow, so I'm sure I'll be braving the cold later this week.

Noodle Fun!
So what did we do with our snowy weekend?  We colored noodles.  Yep.  That's right.  We colored noodles and then we played with them.  We took different shapes of noodles, put them in a bag with food coloring and shook.  Then we let our noodles dry over nap time.  When the boys woke up.....ta da!   Colored Noodles!  The boys had so much fun playing with them.  They sorted noodles by colors and shapes, made patterns, turned them into pictures, built racetracks, threw them in the air to make rain and did numerous other creative things with them.  It was fun, creative, easy, inexpensive, simple to clean up and the boys loved it!

Sunday, January 9, 2011

You Dance Over Me

"The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."
Zephaniah 3:17

What comfort!  As I read this scripture today I was so totally overcome with the love and care of our Father.  Just look at all the wonderful things he tells us here:

First, God is with me.  Always.  None of us want to be alone or go through struggles without support.  We all crave and love those people in our lives who are there for us during times of sorrow and joy, but they are people...human just like us.  Sometimes those people let us down or don't really understand the hurt or pain that we are feeling, but God is there just waiting for us to share it with Him. 

Denver and I have been through some pretty difficult times in our ministry.  It was during those times of struggle that he and I have been the closest, but God wants to be even closer to me than my husband.  He wants to fill a hole, a loneliness, a longing that even Denver can't fill.  I have to wonder....why is it sometimes so hard for me to let Him?

Second, He is mighty to save.  The Lord sent his son to die for us...to save us.  I know this.  I share this and teach this, but sometimes it's so easy to know it just like I know that peanut butter tastes good with chocolate.  But we serve a mighty God who gave his Son so that I might be saved.  I pray that the Lord would remind me daily of His great sacrifice.

The last part of this verse amazes me.  He delights in me!  He rejoices over me with singing!  Me.  A sinner.  With all my fears, failures, immaturity, doubt, pride....the list goes on and on.  I can't comprehend how our great big God delights in me and sings over me, but he does.  It makes me think of tucking my boys in at night.  Sometimes I just lay there next to them, listening to them breathe and stare in awe at their perfect little faces.  I delight in them.  My Heavenly Father delights in me.  It's a thought that makes me feel humble and warm inside all at the same time.  I am amazed by the love of my God.  Tonight I'll go to bed singing this song:

Amazed

You dance over me,
While I am unaware.
You sing all around,
But I never hear the sound.
Lord, I'm amazed by you
Lord, I'm amazed by you
Lord, I'm amazed  by you
How you love me.
You paint the morning sky
With miracles in mind
My hope will always stand
For you hold me in your hand
Lord I'm amazed by you
Lord I'm amazed by you
Lord I'm amazed by you
How you love me.
Lord I'm amazed by you
Lord I'm amazed by you
Lord I'm amazed by you
How you love me.
How wide, how deep, how great, is your love for me.
How wide, how deep, how great, is your love for me.

Lord I'm amazed by you
Lord I'm amazed by you
Lord I'm amazed by you
How you love me.
Lord you love me.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

When They Grow Up

For the first time today Ben came to us and told us what he wanted to be when he grew up.  He's never done this on his own before.  There may have been times when watching or reading something we have asked, "Ben, do you want to be a teacher when you grow up?"  And he's answered, but today it was completely out of the blue and on his own. 

While sitting at the kitchen table he announced, "When I grow up I want to be a fireman."  Ok.  Fireman is good.  But grow up?  You mean there is going to come a time when I don't have to cut his pancakes?  This is unbelievable to me.  Right now Ben is 6, Caleb is 4 and Eli is 2.  I have started to think about what next school year is going to be like when Ben in school all day and Caleb half day...but even that is a stretch to imagine.  I mean, I can't imagine the boys being 10, 12 and 14...let alone being "grown up."

This makes me think about all of the choices that they are going to have to make as they get older.  Right now they don't have many choices besides what shirt they want to wear or what they want to eat in their Happy Meal.  Denver and I decide what is best for them.  Knowing all of the decisions that they have ahead of them is kinda scary to think about.  But instead of being scared, I guess it's just one more thing to add to my prayer list.  I need to pray beyond Kindergarten and to their future careers and marriages and on and on...

Denver and I know this incredible couple.  Mick and Judy.  Mick passed away last year, but every time we get to spend time with Judy she keeps him alive by telling us stories about him.  She once told us that when their daughter was still young enough to be sitting in her highchair, Mick would stand over her and pray for her future and her future husband.  How amazing is that!  To pray for your future son-in-law for some 20ish years before you even know who he is?!

I'm going to start doing that for my boys....even as it seems sooo far off.  I am going to pray for the wives that they will someday have.  I am going to pray for the big decisions they will have to make.  And I am going to pray that they would find God's will for what they are going to be when they grow up.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Legacy

You know those "awww" moments with your children?  Those times when you see them doing something and you wish that you could just freeze the moment.  One of those moments that you hope you'll never forget?  I had one of those moments on Christmas Eve.

That evening my dad's side of the family all got together and went to a Christmas Eve Service at a nearby church.  Afterwards everyone came to our house to celebrate.  There were 21 of us, but we all managed to find a place to sit and had a wonderful time talking and laughing together.  After dinner my boys hurried us all downstairs as they were anxious to exchange gifts.  When we were all settled my husband took out his bible to read the Christmas story. But before he could get started, Caleb went over to sit in his lap on the rocking chair next to the tree. 

So Denver started reading the story while I sat on the floor several feet in front of him holding Ben and Eli on my lap.  What a great moment....but that wasn't it.  It happened a few seconds later.  Denver was about halfway through the story when Caleb, who had been staring at the Bible as if he could read it, reached out his cute little hand and placed it under Denver's hand.  And there it was.  That moment.  It was my son, sitting in his daddy's lap, with his hand helping to hold the Bible while reading the story of Jesus' birth.  What a great picture.  It made me think of the awesome legacy we can leave our children if we help them to grow up knowing the love of God.

Ben is learning so many things this year in Kindergarten.  Letter sounds, reading, writing, rhyming...the list goes on and on.  We work on these things at home and drill them into his little mind, but we don't spend nearly as much time talking about God.  We do pray before meals and bedtime.  We often talk about Jesus and of course we go to church on Sunday, but are we really teaching them to love Jesus?  It's something I have to spend some more time thinking about and figuring out.  It's a big job and definitely the most important one I'll ever have.

And just to leave you with a smile on your face...  A few seconds after Caleb held Denver's had with his own, he used his other hand to start picking his nose.  My family behind me quickly went from saying, "awww" to chuckling.  Oh Caleb...you gotta love that boy.  I think some of the family got pictures, but I haven't seen them yet.  It might me a keeper to show future girlfriends.

Monday, January 3, 2011

My First Blog

Ok...this is it.  My very first blog.  Last night I told my husband that I was thinking about blogging.  He just smiled and shook his head at me.  See, the thing is...my husband knows me well.  I often have these great ideas.  I get really excited about something, talk a lot about it, get all geared up, do it once or maybe even twice and then I get distracted by the next great idea.  No offense to my mom, but I think this runs in the family.


So today I spent more time mulling over this whole idea.  If I'm going to do this, I want to make sure that I prove my husband wrong and stick with it.  ha!  So I started thinking about what I would like to blog about.  I'd like to blog about my children and family, my crafting and quilting, my relationship with Christ and my role as a pastor's wife.  So how do I lump all of those things into one title?  It took me awhile.  (Did you know that it's hard to find a name for your blog that isn't already taken?)  Anyway, I came up with the word "growing" because that's what I want to do.  I want to grow in each of these areas of my life.  I want to be a better mother and wife.  I want to learn more and do more with my hobby of quilting.  I desire to reach new heights in my relationship with Christ and I desperately want to improve upon loving those in my church with the love of God.


So if you're interested...join me for the ride.  Sometimes my posts might just be funny things that my boys say or do and sometimes it might be an insight from my personal time with God.  I'll be happy...just so long as I'm Growing Along the Way.